Marley's Brain Accused of Crimes Against Humanity

Marley's Brain Accused of Crimes Against Humanity

MAYFIELD HEIGHTS, OH: In stunning testimony before a tense jury in a Mayfield Heights court on Tuesday, Marley's Brain was accused of abusive, maniacal acts perpetrated on its landlord of almost four years, Marley Rose.

A white knuckled jury listened intently as the curly haired victim of the alleged acts, at times weeping, told the court that it was her Brain that was responsible for the large puddle of urine on the kitchen floor.

"I wanted to go to the potty, but my Brain told me to pee," sobbed the bright yellow Sponge Bob pajama'ed defendant when asked by the Judge why she pee'd on the floor.

Exclusive wilkinweb access to court transcripts revealed the following transgressions in the courtroom:

"Uhhh Dad....I knew I had to go potty. But my stupid Brain made me go before I wanted."

"Don't say 'stupid'," warned the judge.

"I hate my Brain!" exclaimed the tormented child.

"Don't say hate," warned the noticeably irritated judge. 

"Mom, can you clean that up?" the judge asked the court janitor.

"Why do I have to clean it up?" asked the court janitor.

"Uhhhhh....my back hurts," the judge stated, exercising his recently acquired  'quid pro quo --I'm not cleaning up that nasty stuff' powers.

"I'm sorry Daddy.  Uhhhhhh....I hate...Uhhhhh...my Brain is stupid.....Uhhhhh... you aren't my best friend anymore!" stated the four year old.

"You know," the judge started, "Marley gets punished for what her Brain does." the wise Juror stated.  "I hate to punish you for all the things that your Brain does."

The courtroom stood silently shocked as a solo cry of "Dad!" arose from the gallery.  Marley and her Brain back turned back to the direction of the interjection.

 What they saw was the distraught brother of the victim, obviously under tremendous stress, with hair askew.

He belted out from the rocking chair "Don't giver her a discussion!"

An exasperated Judge slammed down his Diet Pepsi and declared, "Time for bed!"

Nodding her head in absolute accent, the Janitor agreed.

Marley's Brain, accused of theses atrocities, screamed for due process but the Judge and the Janitor were much too tired.  The judge called for a continuance until the Judge,  jury,  gallery, accused, and defendant were well rested. 

Sources inside the court room say that may be 20 years.